“If today was your last day on earth, how would you want to spend it?”
My eyes fluttered open, a smile already growing. It was a familiar question, from my favorite voice.
“With you, of course.”
I rolled over to see Tom sitting on the hotel bed next to me. Despite the thousand-count sheets and five-star accommodations, something felt off. He seemed anxious, which was confusing. What could have him anxious on the first day of vacation in Belize? That’s when it caught my eye.
The blue sapphire glistened, the perfectly chiseled princess cut creating dancing rainbows that glowed in the morning light streaming through the balcony windows. Outside, waves crashed and a lone gull gave a melancholy cry.
“Jessica, I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
His chocolate-colored hair was tousled, green eyes searching my face for my response.
“Are you kidding me?!” I exclaimed. He beamed, his smile stretched from ear to ear.
“Is that a yes? It isn’t official until you say yes.”
“Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!” I held up my hand again, still in disbelief.
“Oh, Tom. It’s so beautiful.” I reached in for a hug. We’d been together for six years and I had been hinting towards this for at least two of them. My followers were going to lose their shit.
He squeezed me closer, breathing me in. “I just want this trip to be the best trip of your life, Jess.” His voice tickled in my ear and I giggled as I pulled away.
“Five days on the beach plus being a fiancé? It’s already the best!”
His features lit up. “Then you’re going to be utterly delighted in just a moment.”
As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. He opened the door with a dramatic flourish, revealing a beaming bellhop holding some champagne flutes and a very expensive bottle of Tattinger, my absolute favorite brand.
“Congratulations are in order, I hear.”
“You were that confident, huh?” I teased.
He passed the guy a tip after grabbing the tray of items and thanked the guy. “Of course I was confident. You always said you would marry me if I ever had the balls to ask.”
“This is true,” I admitted. We;d met at a bar. The moment I laid eyes on his dimpled cheeks and amazing aa, I was lost in lust at first sight. After our first conversation, I told my best friend Mandy that I was going to marry him someday. By our third date, I’d posted him on my Instagram feed. The post instantly got over a million likes, everyone telling me how hot he was.
I love being right.
With a flourish, the bottle popped and the cork smacked the ceiling. We both fell into a fit of giggles as the champagne overflowed the glasses. He sucked some of it off his fingers, giving me a wink. I don’t think I had ever loved him more than in this moment. We’d been through so much, from grad school to foreclosure on his childhood home, to my grandmother dying last year. We’d weathered it together, growing stronger with each obstacle. Getting married was the next logical and wonderful step. We’d also probably get sponsors. The possibilities were endless; if I did it right, the wedding could be publish. The thought shot butterflies to my belly.
He handed me an overflowing glass, spilling some champagne on the sheets. “To forever.”
My cheeks flushed. To spend my life with this gorgeous, kind man sounded incredible. It would ensure consistent likes on my socials and something had to pay for this trip. “To forever and a day.”
The bubbly golden liquid fizzled down my throat, buzzing all the way into my bloodstream. I couldn’t stop looking at my ring. I had left the choice up to him, knowing he would do an excellent job. It was at least two carets (three would have really popped, though) and in a hexagonal cut. It’s light flickered along the wall, eliciting a squeal of pleasure. “It’s absolutely breathtaking Tom.”
The rest of the morning was spent in bed, with the windows wide open and the ocean air caressing our skin as we made love for hours. We came up for air to order room service. Belize had been impressive these first twenty-four hours!
“So what shall we do today?” He asked, after lunch was devoured and the plates left outside our door.
I shrugged. “The hotel offered a snorkeling tour they want me to show on social media.”
He also shrugged. “Could be a blast. We’re here for the trip of a lifetime, right?”
I nodded. “Well, that and to keep my Instagram followers appeased.”
He gave me a look. “As always.”
As a professional social media influencer, the Mezamine Hotels had asked me to promote them on various platforms. In return, we would receive a sponsored all-expense-paid trip to a tropical paradise. It was a difficult but incredibly rewarding dream job. After three years in this business, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Why would I want to?
***
On the second to last day, after another fattening breakfast, we lazily laid on the hotel’s private beach, mere inches from the azure waters. My skin was a deep golden brown. I imagined my envious competitors, who were always leaving passive-aggressive comments on my feed, seeing my summer glow and flat abs. Social media influencing was incredibly cut-throat, everyone always trying to outdo one another to gain more followers. Checkmate, I thought smugly. Taking a sip of my pina colada, I pulled out my phone and began to work on my selfie for the day, turning my head this way and that. The lighting was difficult in the afternoon sun. I would have to try again later. I put the phone away and went back to my book.
“What are you thinking about?” Tom asked.
I looked over at him, admiring my reflection in his big aviator glasses. Damn, I looked good. I was twenty-six and worked out almost every single day. This vacation was the first time in months I hadn’t forced myself out of bed by six in the morning, to kill myself at the gym. Maybe I should take a photo of myself in his reflection. Followers loved that artsy shit.
I smiled. “I was thinking about how envious everyone will be when they see where we are.”
He frowned. “Why on earth are you thinking about work right now?”
I rolled my eyes. He knew better than to question my work.
“Because that’s literally why we’re here, Tom.”
He sat up and looked at me. I couldn’t see his eyes, but his forehead was furrowed with concern. I sighed, knowing exactly where this was going.
“Don’t you ever get tired of that bullshit?”
It was my turn to sit up. “What do you mean, ‘that bullshit’?”
“Always on your phone, competing with your fake friends. Trying to make them jealous. How is that healthy?”
If I had hackles, they would be ten feet in the air by now. “It’s a friendly competition, not to mention a part of my job. Why are you doing this?”
“Me?” His voice raised an octave. “We’re on this gorgeous beach, newly engaged and all you can think about is your job.” I snorted in derision. It was so like him, to enjoy the perks of my job but resent what it entailed. He resented the hours I had to spend on my phone, trying to gain followers and sponsorships.
“Tom, I don’t know what has gotten into you but I’m not okay with this attitude. You asked what I was thinking and I told you. You have no right to get mad at my own private thoughts or my job. Are you done?”
At this, he deflated and gave me an apologetic look. Taking his sunglasses off, he looked me in the eyes, having the intelligence to at least look bashful about his behavior.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just touchy. Sometimes, the real world is just exhausting, you know? We’re on vacation, but it’s still about impressing people you barely know on a social media platform you don’t really like.”
My shoulders dropped, my hackles falling. “You’re right. I hate that too. I’ll try to find a better balance.”
We reached for one another at the same time, hugging tightly. His smell was strangely comforting, like sweat and sunscreen.
“We are going to eat more delicious lobster,” he announced, standing up. The moment seemed over, but I still felt uneasy. His outbursts towards my job had increased recently. It seemed off and I didn’t know how to address it. We collected our things in silence and headed back to our hotel room.
The cool air of the room blasted us the second we opened the door, causing goosebumps to spread across my arms. I shivered, feeling like something was different. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
After rinsing off and getting ready for another nice dinner, I went through my purse looking for my favorite lipstick. We hadn’t spoken since the beach and had barely made eye contact. He seemed as deep in thought as I had been. After putting on the soft pink lipstick, I made my way to where he was standing on the balcony, staring off into the horizon. He looked so handsome, with his muscular sloping shoulders and thighs that usually made me drool. He wore my favorite shirt, the deep purple polo making him look like a model. My heart skipped a beat, knowing that I would get to marry this man. Angry thoughts already forgot, I came up behind him and hugged him from behind. He was surprised, but then melted into me.
“I love you so much,” he said softly.
“I love you too.”
“Want to get that lobster now?”
I let go and he turned towards me, searching my face. I gave him a warm smile and reached for his hand.
“Absolutely. Only if I get the extra garlic butter like last time.”
He laughed. “Whatever you want, babes.”
The dinner was absolutely divine. We were both seafood nuts, so we started with the lobster bisque. It was thick and creamy, with hints of sugar and spices that drove my taste buds wild. They included small pieces of puff pastry that completely complimented the texture. The second course was the highly anticipated fresh-caught lobster. Right before the chef prepared it, he came over and let us inspect the unsuspecting crustacean. We nodded our approval and off the poor creature went. It was served with extra garlic butter, much to my delight. We took turns feeding one another, savoring each tender bite. Tom rolled his eyes as I photographed each dish, but that was easily ignored. I had over a million followers on Instagram; it would be a complete faux pas for me to not share this delectable experience. Not to mention, it would piss off the hotel.
Finally, dessert was warm apple bread pudding with a crisp crumble topping that dripped with sugary sin. We took our time with each bite, taking sips of wine in between. By the time dinner was done, we were drunk on love and libations like we were meant to be. We stumbled our way back to the hotel room hand in hand, whispering nasty nothings into each other’s ear. By the disgusted looks from various passersby, I’m not entirely sure how much whispering we actually did.
We both stripped the moment the door closed, our tongues and hands having a mind of their own. I heard something fall over and crash as I tossed a shoe behind me, eliciting more giggles from the both of us. The room was pitch black, but instead of turning on a light, we fumbled back to the bed and tried not to fall on our faces. Our eyes quickly adjusted, thanks to the silver moonlight coming through the open balcony door. It lit us up as we tumbled into the white cotten pool of sheets. I crawled on top of him and arched my back seductively like a sphinx, while his hands reached for anything and everything.
“I love you Jessica,” his voice raspy with desire. I saw the moonlight in his pupils, his eyes watering. We were both completely naked, bare and vulnerable. As I slipped him inside me, I leaned over to his ear and gave it a lick.
“I love you too.” He groaned and suddenly, our mouths were too full for more words.
***
The next morning came too brightly, my head pounding. How much wine had we imbibed? I rolled over, seeing Tom laying on his back with one arm thrown over his eyes in protest.
“Good morning sleepyhead.”
He turned over, peeling open one green eye. I wiggled over to him, breathing him in. My heart felt like it might explode from happiness. How did I get so lucky, finding this man and living this amazing life?
“Coffee?” He asked the question, knowing fully well what my answer would be. I nodded anyway. He got up slowly, wincing as he was finally upright. I chuckled.
“Too much for you as well?”
“I would nod, but I fear that would just make things worse.”
After a moment, he propelled himself upright and went over to the coffee maker. While he was busy pouring water into the machine, I reached for my phone. I had four dozen unread notifications, which gave me a little anxiety. Scrolling through, I was relieved to discover most of it was mundane nonsense. The comments on my photos though made me cringe. Nice hotdog legs. I wish that was the worst of it, but even strangers sent nasty comments. Too tan. Not tan enough. What a spoiled bitch I was. Some people even just told me to cancel myself. Ouch.
“Anything interesting?”
I looked up to see Tom watching me, two cups of coffee in hand. Not wanting a repeat of yesterday, I put my phone down and sighed.
“Sometimes, the rat race is cruel to the competitors. Sometimes, I’m just tired of having to live this weird life that isn’t totally real.”
I gave him a thankful smile as he handed me my coffee.
“Why don’t you leave it all behind?”
I gave a little moue. “Because. I’m not sure what the hell else I would do for money. And it paid for this vacation, didn’t it?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, this is true. But I could have paid for it.”
“I know you can. That isn’t the point though.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment. I took a sip of my coffee, enjoying the sugary bitterness, feeling the tip of my tongue burn. He seemed thoughtful, considering my words. I wondered if he was hoping I would quit this career.
“Let’s forget about it all. If this was the last day of your life, what would you want to do?”
“Aside from you?” I gave him a salacious look and a wink. He bit his lip flirtatiously and then blew me a kiss.
“Obviously, that can be a part of the agenda.”
I contemplated his question. I loved this game, asking one another how to spend their last day. We had started playing it after our second date. Often, we found ourselves in crazy adventures because of it. We had already snorkeled, gone jetskiing, gotten massages and ate ourselves to a new pants size. What else was there left to do?
“How about the ultimate adventure: relaxing?”
He gave me a soft smile and sat down beside me.
“Of course. If it was my last day on earth, you’re the only person I want to spend it with, however you want.” I was relieved with his response. A good day of relaxation was the perfect agenda for our last day in Belize.
The day went by slowly, in the most wonderful of ways. We ordered more room service, stayed naked almost the whole time and spent hours discussing our future dreams. With Tom’s permission, I posted a photo of us cuddling in bed, subtly showing off my ring while holding my coffee. It was a methodical announcement of my engagement. Blunt announcements were for desperate losers. Instantly, dozens of responses came through. Each comment and like was a shot of dopamine. It felt good to get this validation from strangers. Tom didn’t even seem bothered, either. As the evening approached, he offered to order our dinner.
“Can you order me the filet mignon? I want to post it.”
He winked at me and reached for the phone.
“One of everything on the menu,” he said with bravado. I looked at him, shocked.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, but he waved me away.
“Yes, you heard that right. Please send it all at once to room 3701. Thank you.” He hung up before the room service attendant could question him further.
“Tom! The hotel is paying for this trip but that is taking it a bit too far!”
“It’ll make a good Instagram post.”
I stared at him but I knew he was right. At least, I prayed he was right. An hour later, three bellhops showed up with carts full of delectables. Calamari, fresh ceviche, hamburgers, pasta, and even a kids-sized pizza. They looked at us curiously as they tried to find enough flat surfaces for all of the plates. I attempted to get as many onto the lone table in the corner, knowing it could make an interesting picture. I made a show of fussing over the lighting and positioning, hoping they would report back that it was all a part of the sponsorship, that I was fulfilling my contractual obligation. After taking twenty minutes getting the photo just right, we dug in. It was a feast fit for kings, indeed. Everything was delicious and seasoned perfectly. I made sure to mention that in my post, tagging the hotel and gushing about the amazing service we had received thus far. It took a minute to come up with an engaging caption but settled on one that would encourage engagement.
What would your last meal in Belize be? Here’s mine!
Tom was reassuringly right. Instantly, hundreds upon hundreds of likes and comments flooded my feed immediately. My followers were picking their favorite dish and asking how it tasted. My thumbs blazed through the responses, my head filled with racing thoughts. Tom watched me thoughtfully while munching on his favorite dishes.
“Was I right?” he asked finally.
I laughed with delight. “Yes! You should totally get into social media. You’re a genius!”
He made a face. “I’d rather avoid that and exit the rat race entirely.”
I ignored him and kept responding to the comments. In the last week alone, I had gained over a hundred thousand followers. The hotel would be very pleased with these results. Tom stood and walked over the bar, fiddling with the different alcohols and mixers. Holy shit, there were a hundred more comments in the last five minutes! I’d never be able to keep up! I laughed in excitement.
A drink was shoved into my view and I looked up to find Tom regarding me with an expression I couldn’t read. I put my phone down to grab it.
“A moscow mule,” he said in a sad voice. I looked up at him, but his face was expressionless. I must have misheard him.
“My favorite,” I beamed at him, taking a sip. “Did you add something extra into it?” It had a more bitter flavor to it. I stirred it, watching the liquid swirl, and took another sip. Much better.
“Just a little bit of extra love.” I took another sip, this time a bigger swig.
“Remember our first date?” He sat down beside me, sipping his own drink.
I smiled. “How could I forget? We both nearly drowned in the amount of moscow mules we consumed.” He smiled back, but for some reason, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Finally, I realized how different his whole demeanor had become.
“Are you okay?”
He shook his head. “I’m just tired. Aren’t you tired?”
I shrugged. “Not really. We didn’t do much today.”
“Yeah, but what about life as a whole. Isn’t it just tiring?” He leaned forward, his tone a little more insistent. I took the last sip of my drink, the ice swirling in the empty glass. My throat started to feel a little itchy, causing me to almost choke. He cleared his throat too.
“I don’t know,” I said, clearing my throat again. My face felt hot. Did he put something spicy in the drink?
“I just want to save you the stress and heartache of needing everyone’s approval,” he said softly. Standing up, he reached down to me and grabbed my hand. I stood, the room spinning like a merry-go-round. My chest burned with each breath, as if the air itself was fire. Almost falling over, he held me up firmly in his familiar embrace. Coaxing my failing body over to the bed, he pulled back the soft white sheets, still messy from our lovemaking. Outside, the waves crashed but the sound seemed more muffled than usual.
“Something is wrong” I croaked, my throat tight. “You need to call someone.”
He landed heavy beside me, crawling into the sheets and pulling me into him. He shushed me and gently stroked my hair. I was gasping for breath at this point, gulping like a fish on land.
“It’ll be over soon. I just wanted us to be together forever, without the world tearing us down slowly.”
“What…Tom…What…” My vision was blurring, my body weakening as each second passed. It dawned on me that he had done this. He was in the process of murdering me and killing himself.
“Today is our last day on earth. I’m so glad I got to spend it with you.”
His words seemed so far away as I took my last breath, I looked at my engagement ring. It looked dull in the dark, a mockery for everything it had stood for five days ago. His breathing also became labored and slowed. The sheets were so soft and warm, his body comforting despite my fading anger. As my thoughts began to float away, I wondered how many likes and shares my death would get.