Until this past year, I never identified as a Twihard. Sure, I read the series before it was even a movie and devoured it. Yes, I’m totally Team Jacob (I hate being cold). And, of course, I forced my family to watch one of the films every Sunday for family movie night. 

They secretly loved it. I swear. 

Anyway, I was thinking about it and I think Twilight can be arguably a metaphor for ADHD. Just hear me out. 

And yes, perhaps this is my excuse for writing about Twilight. After all, who doesn’t love sparkly shit and a solid dose of teen angst?

Pathological Demand Avoidance

This brain wiring means that if someone tells you to do something or not to do something, you HAVE to do the opposite. Everyone told Bella, “Girl, don’t talk to him. He stares a little too hard and his siblings are dating one another.”

Did she listen? Hell no. Just like you don’t like to listen to authority figures. Little rebel. 

Emotional Disregulation

When Edward is all like, “Naw girl, my family might eat you, so peace out,” Bella’s response was to try and unalive herself in different ways. 

Cliffs. 

Motorcycles. 

She probably would’ve tried a toaster and bath bombs if it wasn’t for Edward trying to unalive himself simply because she didn’t pick up the phone. Gotta love the teenage angst. It was just a break-up, but to them, it was the end of the world. 

Struggling To Connect With Others

Okay, it’s not like Jessica and that gaggle of kids that globbed onto Boring Bella were the pinnacle of humanity, but Bella still struggled to connect with them. 

Why would she care about a prom dress when there’s a sexy man that might eat her? She could barely have a conversation with anyone without stuttering, biting her lip, and tucking her brown hair behind an ear. We all have our habits, I guess.

Personally, I think Bella is autistic, but that’s for another post. 

Hyperfocus

Bella’s obsession with vampires surpasses the 2010s obsession with the fanged creatures. I’m surprised she even passed high school when all she did was beg Edward to turn her into an undying being.

But really, Edward was her whole world. She almost did and then literally died for it. Just so she could be a teenage mom to her 100-year-old boyfriend’s science-experiment-of-a-baby, Rasputin.

Just like how my obsession with chicken nuggets almost destroyed my health. 

A Hate For Sleep

Okay, I know I said I’m Team Jacob…but not needing to sleep sounds AH-MAZING. Think of all the activities we could get done! Think about how much space there would be in the bedroom without a mattress (although, come to think of it, how do vamps do the horizontal mambo without a comfy mattress or couch nearby?).

Most people with ADHD struggle with sleeping because there’s so much of life to witness and experience. But if I don’t get at least 7 hours a night, I’m worse than Jasper around a drop of blood. It’s my great human weakness and my ADHD loathes it.

Wrapping Up My Ramblings

Okay, maybe you bought my long winded metaphor. Maybe not. In reality, these rambling paragraphs were just fun to write and to ensure you never view Twilight the same ever again. You’re welcome.

All I know is that it’s almost hoa-hoa weather and I can’t wait for it.